I don’t remember what it’s like to NOT be sick. For as long as I can remember I have always been different; as a kid I got tired much easier than all my friends, I ached a lot (we called them growing pains until we knew the truth), I needed a lot more sleep, I was moody all the time.
When I was 12 years old my mom was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, and she immediately knew what was wrong with me, so she asked her doctor to take a look at me, even though she couldn’t see me on the record since I was a minor and she wasn’t a pediatric doctor. The doctor performed the trigger point test to diagnose fibromyalgia, and told me that I tested positive as having it, but I needed to wait until I was 18 to see a doctor on the record. Which was frustrating, but fine…I’d been living that way my whole life so far, I could keep on living that way…until one morning, when I was a senior in high school, my carefully built semblance of normalcy came crashing down.
I woke up one rainy January morning, not feeling so great…I went to 1st period, and essentially collapsed half-way through. I dragged myself to my car, and home to bed…where I stayed for close to 24 hours. The problem was, when I tried to get back out of bed, my legs didn’t work…they simply could not/would not hold my weight. It took close to 2 months of going to high school in a wheelchair, pain meds, sleeping a LOT (including during the majority of my classes), and gradually taking a few more steps every day before I was finally able to walk and function relatively normally again.
And I have never been the same.
Over the last 6 years since I turned 18 I have racked up quite a few diagnosis’s; fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome, degenerative disk disease, psoriatic arthritis, bipolar disorder (that’s a story for another day), hypothyroidism, restless leg syndrome, benign hyper-mobility syndrome, chronic migraines, chronic ovarian cysts, costocondritis, and anxiety/panic disorder. I think that’s everything!! It’s too many things to remember!
Don’t get me wrong, I have had good times; I’ve worked a full time job, that involved 8-16 hour shifts on my feet, I graduated with a Bachelors degree and a pretty decent GPA, I trained in Tae Kwon Do for close to 12 years and earned a 4th degree black belt and an instructorship title, I met my husband and married him after dating for 3 1/2 years.
But I’ve also had really bad times; I’ve sat down on the floor of the grocery store and cried, I’ve curled up in a ball and cried more times than I can count, I’ve sat in my car and cried because it took more energy than I had to get out, basically…I’ve done a LOT of crying, and sometimes I don’t know how I made it through the day…but I did.
As I always say (when I’m feeling positive that is…) “I’ve done it before, and I’ll do it again”…