I think this was the first Christmas in many many years, perhaps ever, that I felt like I didn’t feel well enough to enjoy the holiday…but I can’t really put into words WHY I felt that way. Christmas eve hubby and I went to Christmas eve service at church, which I have to say is usually one of my favorite parts of the holiday. I love getting dressed nice, and experiencing the whole church filled with happy singing voices; I love the candlelit singing of Silent Night to end the service. I just love it. But this year I was uncomfortable in my clothes, with the fabric irritating my skin; I did not feel “pretty”, and I was in a significant amount of pain. After church we all went to dinner, where the food made my stomach sick and I was still in a bunch of pain. Christmas day I slept in a little, and spent the morning in bed reading which was nice since I was really hurting (are you seeing a trend here?), I did a little bit of cooking (another favorite part of the holiday) and headed off to my grandmother’s house. There we ate a delicious meal and everything was ok, but after that things just went downhill. I “crashed”, as I tend to call it…which essentially means that what little energy I had disappeared instantly, and my pain went through the roof. So I parked my butt on the couch until all gifts were opened, and then I retreated home to my bed where I proceeded to have insomnia and was up half the night.
I guess I’m just not “feeling” the holidays this year. I was too sick to do much decorating or preparing, I got the bare minimum done as far as shopping for gifts is concerned, and I was just generally too exhausted and in too much pain to enjoy the whole season.
It’s whatever I guess…
What does make me a little sad is that since I got engaged a year ago on New Year’s Eve, I wanted to go with hubby to the spot where he proposed and celebrate New Year’s watching the fireworks just like we did last year…but I know there is NO WAY I will feel up to that. :[