I’m used to injuries, of the physical kind. I’ve broken numerous bones (several of them at the same time), I’ve sprained/twisted/dislocated so many joints, I’ve torn tendons, I’ve stretched and stressed ligaments, I’ve had a concussion from being knocked unconscious…but nothing compares to the feeling of breaking I feel inside tonight (and for the last few days). I’ve been searching for ways to put it into words; it’s like my soul is being ripped in to a million tiny pieces, like there is basketball sized lump of emotions stuck underneath my sternum, like I’m slowly dying inside.
I’m getting a divorce. There, I said it. It sounds so unreal to say it out loud. I’m 24, and getting a divorce after 11 months of marriage.
I barely remember a life without him in it, and I am struggling to picture what that will look like in the future. I still love him, and I always will…but the thing is, I have to stand up for myself. And I’ll be fine. I know I will. I’ve always been fine and I always will be fine. With him or without him.
This just blows ridiculous amounts of suck.