Who the f@*$ am I?

Finding yourself is not a comfortable process, nor should it be. It is petrifying. — How to Find Yourself When You’ve Lost Yourself, Rebecca Lammersen (From Elephant Journal)

 

So I was reading Elephant Journal tonight, as I have been a lot lately (there is something about the deep thoughts and positivity that has just been soothing to my soul) and I came across this piece written by Rebecca Lammersen about finding yourself. While I loved the article, the writer uses words like “over time” and “began” to describe how this feeling happens. I do not think this is how it happens, at least not for me; I seem to find myself in a situation that slaps me across the face and I wake up and say “who the f@#* am I?”

Like now, for instance. 

I don’t know where along the way I lost myself and I don’t think it’s the typical “I’ve changed who I am” type of issue. I think it’s more like I’ve allowed myself to become invisible; I’ve sunk so much of myself into my husband and my relationship, and the stresses of life, that I’ve been slowly disappearing for a long time. Being chronically ill has cost me essentially all of my hobbies, my passions, my goals in life…so I don’t even have that to give myself definition. Not that long ago I was proud of the fact that I am a wife and a chronic pain survivor, but in the last couple of weeks I have realized that that should not be ALL that defines me. I can be so much more than that. 

The process, however? Absolutely petrifying. 

 

 

http://www.elephantjournal.com/2013/11/how-to-find-yourself-when-youve-lost-yourself/

 

2 Comments

Filed under Chronic Illness, Divorce, Uncategorized

2 responses to “Who the f@*$ am I?

  1. You are so very strong, stronger than you might realize right now. But it’s there and the brave way that you are confronting the “process” will pay off immeasurably. 8)

    Like

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