One of the not-so-obvious things I’ve been struggling with lately because of this divorce is the lack of physical touch in my life now. I used to yell at him to stop pestering me with his incessant poking and squeezing and just generally annoying little touches, especially when I was having a painful day; so it didn’t occur to me until recently how much I am desiring physical touch in my life (and have been for a long time, because annoying poking doesn’t count!)
That, combined with the fact that the divorce is still a secret from everyone but those closest to me, leaves a very alienated and alone feeling.
A hug from a friend this morning who I know really cares helped, but it was fleeting…so I sit here wishing there was someone I could call and just say “come hold me please?”
The same good friend (unknowingly) reminded me of what used to be my mantra years ago when training in martial arts…”this too shall pass”…so I guess I will just remind myself of that instead.
This being alone, something I’ve never really done, has a learning curve…for real.