I’m an introvert, painfully so at times, but I am also a people person (they just have to be the right people!). Sometimes I say that to people and they don’t believe me that I’m actually very introverted, because I don’t seem like it (apparently, so I’ve been told). I need people, a lot. I need to talk, and be around people, and share things. So much so that I guess I seem extroverted, but it’s really only with a small group of people. Between my family and couple of close friends, plus I have been meeting quite a few people on the internet lately, I find it much easier to cope if I can talk to someone. I feel like I annoy people with my incessant need to talk (or listen, or even just be silent together), but the truth is I just want to feel that I am not alone in the world.
I have been trying lately to get better at being ok alone, it’s something I’m going to have to get used to I guess, because it has not been easy. The only word I know to really describe how I feel is isolated, yet I am really not isolated. I’m around people all the time, I talk to people like my boss, my mom or my grandma or people on the internet quite a bit. I just feel all alone, in life in general I guess.
I feel this almost crushing loneliness a lot of the time. I feel so alone that it is actually painful.