My heart hurts tonight…don’t worry, my metaphorical one this time.
A friend was telling me today about his struggles with his young adult daughter, who has obviously become associated with “the wrong crowd” and has been making some really poor choices, almost definitely involving drugs.
All I could do was look at him and say “I know”. I could see the pain in his eyes, literally feel the hurt permeating the air around him, and I just wanted to cry for him…because I DO know. I know that hurt. I know it so well.
That hurt, the one that says…
“I just want to help you.
I’m giving, and giving…and giving,
All I get in return is lies, sneaking around, insults and threats.
What more do you want from me?
What am I doing wrong?”
As much as I wish I could, I know from experience that there is nothing I can really DO to help him. So I just listened, because I know how much I needed someone to listen when that was me. Then I told him the things that, while seemingly cliche and obvious, are what I know are the answers to the questions going through his head…
“You can’t fix this”
“This is NOT your fault”
“You didn’t do anything wrong”
So my heart aches tonight, because this time last year I was feeling every single one of those things about my husband…and I know how much it sucked, I can’t even begin to imagine how much harder it would be to have it be your child.