I don’t remember what it’s like to NOT be sick. For as long as I can remember I have always been different; as a kid I got tired much easier than all my friends, I ached a lot (we called them growing pains until we knew the truth), I needed a lot more sleep, I was moody all the time.
When I was 12 years old my mom was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, and she immediately knew what was wrong with me, so she asked her doctor to take a look at me, even though she couldn’t see me on the record since I was a minor and she wasn’t a pediatric doctor. The doctor performed the trigger point test to diagnose fibromyalgia, and told me that I tested positive as having it, but I needed to wait until I was 18 to see a doctor on the record. Which was frustrating, but fine…I’d been living that way my whole life so far, I could keep on living that way…until one morning, when I was a senior in high school, my carefully built semblance of normalcy came crashing down.
I woke up one rainy January morning, not feeling so great…I went to 1st period, and essentially collapsed half-way through. I dragged myself to my car, and home to bed…where I stayed for close to 24 hours. The problem was, when I tried to get back out of bed, my legs didn’t work…they simply could not/would not hold my weight. It took close to 2 months of going to high school in a wheelchair, pain meds, sleeping a LOT (including during the majority of my classes), and gradually taking a few more steps every day before I was finally able to walk and function relatively normally again.
And I have never been the same.
Once I turned 18 I began racking up quite a few diagnosis’s; fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome, degenerative disk disease, psoriatic arthritis, costocondritis, unexplained tachycardia, regurgitation in 2 heart valves, hypothyroidism, restless leg syndrome, benign hyper-mobility syndrome, chronic migraines, chronic ovarian cysts, anxiety/panic disorder, and bipolar disorder. I think that’s everything!! It’s too many things to remember!
The most recent diagnosis’ being : chronic neurological lyme disease, bartonella, mold toxicity, adrenal fatigue, MTHFR genetic mutations and POTS. These could essentially be the root cause of everything else. That blew your mind didn’t it? It blew mine!
Don’t get me wrong, I have had good times; I’ve worked a full time job, that involved 8-16 hour shifts on my feet, I graduated with a Bachelors degree and a pretty decent GPA, I trained in Tae Kwon Do for close to 12 years and earned a 4th degree black belt and an instructorship title, I met my husband and married him after dating and living together for 3 1/2 years.
But I’ve also had really bad times; I’ve sat down on the floor of the grocery store and cried, I’ve curled up in a ball and cried more times than I can count, I’ve sat in my car and cried because it took more energy than I had to get out, basically…I’ve done a LOT of crying, and sometimes I don’t know how I made it through the day…but I did.
As I always say (when I’m feeling positive that is…) “I’ve done it before, and I’ll do it again”…