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Birthdays and validation

So yesterday was my birthday; I didn’t do anything super major, but it was still a nice weekend. 

Saturday I went to the beach, regardless of a little rain and a lot of clouds. My friend and I had a nice lunch, laid on the sand and talked, got some sun in spite of all the clouds, and then had a quick dinner on the way home. She also brought me a lovely bunch of flowers, a gift certificate to our favorite gluten free/vegan bakery, a very sweet card, and a cute unique gift. See…

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This adorable box had a note in it that said “The legend of the Dreambox suggests writing down your fondest dream, greatest desire, strongest wish on a small piece of paper, and placing it beside your bed. Every evening as you retire, and every morning as you rise, hold your Dreambox and think on your dream, believing with all your heart that it is so. Legend has it, if done faithfully…your dream will come true.”

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Isn’t that sweet? 

Many sweet friends also wished me happy birthday from cyberspace…including this e-card that made me smile…

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Then last night I had coffee with a wonderful friend who I, ironically, went to high school with but wasn’t close to then, and who recently has become one of my closest friends after we ran into each other on an online lyme disease support group. It was wonderful to spend time with her as we are both usually to sick or busy to get together.

She gave me probably the best birthday present anyone could have given me…she heard me. We talked for hours as we drank our coffee, and in the course of this conversation I told her how I’ve been feeling lately; as though something is very wrong, that I am not on the right path with my health and my gut instincts are screaming at me to fix it, and quick! But that I have no idea HOW to fix it. Something I have said to several other people recently and gotten answers like “you’re supposed to feel worse before you get better”, and “it’s just herxing, it’s normal”, etc.

However, she simply looked at me and said “I totally get it“.

I can’t explain how nice it was to simply have someone validate how I am feeling, instead of telling me that it’s no big deal, or normal, or I’m freaking out over nothing (which is what I feel like I’ve been hearing, albeit in different words).

Just to have someone say “I get it. I’ve been there too, I am there right now too. You will figure this out. You are strong, and smart, and you know your body. If you say something is wrong, then something is wrong.”…there are no words for how much that helps me right now. ❤

There are only 3 days until my dad gets here; he is only coming for like 2 days, and just to help me move, but regardless I can’t wait to see him. So when he gets here we will have a family birthday dinner (minus my mom who isn’t coming 😦 ) with gluten free/vegan cupcakes for dessert of course! 🙂 

All in all, a satisfactory birthday…although I won’t lie, it makes me sad. I couldn’t help thinking of how my husband and I would have been celebrating together, especially since he didn’t even bother to text me “happy birthday”. I couldn’t help missing the family birthday dinners we used to have before my parents moved away. I couldn’t help wishing my best friend wasn’t 2 hours away. I couldn’t help feeling angry/let down that my other “best friend” who has been talking for months about planning something to celebrate my birthday, chose to spend the weekend with her boyfriend instead, and simply sent me a text message last night. I couldn’t help feeling sad over where I am in life, because it is so not where I wanted to be at 25. 

But I am incredibly grateful for the wonderful friends who did make my birthday special (even if they weren’t the friends I expected), I am a lucky girl. ❤

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