Tag Archives: chronic fatigue syndrome

Fearless Healing: Finding Strength Within Weakness

Such an incredible post. I have attempted to say many times exactly what Shelley has managed to say, as if her words came out of my own heart.

Embrace the body's innate healing mechanisms

The world constitutes strength as possessing physical power, societal power, and financial power. In illness, we learn great insight and wisdom on this subject. We learn what most do not learn until they are elderly. Weakness has nothing to do with muscles, fame, or fortune. It has everything to do with facing unimaginable heartache after heartache, allowing ourselves to break down and be human which renders us as desperately vulnerable, and then having the courage to wake up and face yet another day.

In fact, all of the aforementioned attributes regarding the world’s take on strength possess the power to quickly turn themselves into major weaknesses. Furthermore, they possess the power to turn mankind into animals. As individuals facing struggles unbearable to most, we are endowed with the great gift of gaining perspective on such a crucial matter in life.

We change dramatically the moment the doctor mouths a diagnosis…

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Health update

So it occurred to me that I haven’t written about my health lately (I’ve apparently had other stuff on my mind…I wonder why that is? :/)

So I guess I’ll write an update…

First of all, I have been having a surprisingly good few weeks…so good that I’m literally waiting for the hammer to drop; any day now I’ll wake up and not be able to walk or something…things have been just way too good. I’ve been sleeping (for the most part) a normal amount, fatigue has been way less than it usually is, and pain has been lower than it has been in over a year! (Probably longer than that!) Also I have had very minimal twitching and no electric shock pains for quite a while.

Here’s what I’ve been doing:
– been getting better at gluten free/ sugar free eating
– added magnesium and vitamin D supplements, and vitamin B12 injections
– added Oil of Oregano supplement (to combat candida, more on that in a minute)
– been much better about taking my probiotics
– started drinking apple cider vinegar (also to combat candida)
– kept up with weekly chiropractic/acupuncture appointments
– added flax seed into my diet almost every morning
– kept up with adrenal support cocktails also almost every morning, and some afternoons too
– oil pulling every morning
– dry brushing before baths/showers
– started making kombucha…although I have not drunk any yet. That’s a post for another day, in about 2 weeks when it’s ready!
– preparing to try coffee enemas (also a post for another day, once I know how it goes!)
– working on understanding the results of my genetic testing, that shows quite a list of genetic mutations…most of which effect my ability to process vitamins (explaining my very low vitamin D and B12 levels!) Perhaps more on this when I understand it a little better…

So as you can see I’ve been busy working on my health, even if I haven’t been blogging about it!
I have no idea which of these things is causing me to feel as great as I do, but I’m not complaining!

Although there is one problem…I have a long anticipated (and very expensive!) appointment with a specialist coming up in about 3 1/2 weeks. “What’s the problem?” Right? Well, those of you who are chronically ill will understand…but it is the worst possible thing that could ever happen to be feeling great when seeing a new doctor for the first time. Just trust me on this one…

So what’s a girl to do? Hope I wake up feeling horribly crappy sometime soon, or pray that this doctor will be willing to ignore the fact that at the moment I look like a fairly healthy young woman. Personally, I’m hoping for the first scenario, as crazy as that sounds.

What is candida you ask? Read this : http://www.thecandidadiet.com/candida-symptoms/

I have decided recently that what my primary care doctor keeps calling “a systemic yeast infection” should actually be called candida. I have SO MANY of the symptoms on that list (although yes, they could almost all be caused by other things). So since many, MANY rounds of diflucan (anti-fungal medication) from my doctor over the last 4 years really haven’t done much good, and most recently a round of ketoconizole (stronger anti-fungal medication) didn’t do much of anything, I’m going to take matters in to my own hands. I have added oil pulling, apple cider vinegar, probiotics, and oil of oregano pills to my routine, as well as changing my diet, and I already see more of a difference in my symptoms (mostly the thrush issue) than I have ever seen from rx anti-fungal medications. I have also successfully warded off 2 vaginal yeast infections so far before they got too bad using garlic.

Drinking the apple cider vinegar did cause what is called a herx reaction (http://medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/Herx). A herx reaction is essentially a build up of dead things (in this case yeast cells) in your body, that accumulates and makes you feel like crap because it is more than your liver can manage to detox out of you. After about a week of gradually increasing the amount of ACV I was drinking per day (starting with 1 t. and then 1 T., then 2 T. etc.) until I reached 6 T. per day, I started to feel like CRAP. Like I mean I had a migraine complete with aura and sound/motion sensitivity for almost a week, and then horrible fatigue and shaking. So I have stopped the ACV for the time being, until I can work on detoxing better so that hopefully I won’t have such a bad reaction when I start again, or at least I will have ways to help my body through it.

Anyway, that’s what’s been going on! Just working on kicking candida’s ass, taking care of myself, and getting ready for this specialist appointment!!


Info on oil pulling: http://mamanatural.com/how-to-do-oil-pulling/

Info on coffee enemas: http://www.thewellnesswarrior.com.au/2011/11/wellness-warrior-tv-how-to-do-a-coffee-enema/

Info on kombucha: http://www.thekitchn.com/how-to-make-kombucha-tea-at-home-173858

Info on apple cider vinegar: http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-5875/15-Reasons-to-Use-Apple-Cider-Vinegar-Every-Day.html

Info on dry brushing: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=0QpQZyze3Yk


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I sleep, it’s what I DO; and I do a lot of it. But every so often I have a night that just sucks; I can’t fall asleep, once I am asleep I don’t get my usually crappy quality sleep, and I wake up feeling even worse than normal. I recently discovered an iphone app that piqued my curiosity, it claims to track how well you are sleeping, and has an alarm function to wake you when you are sleeping lightly, in order to avoid rousing you from a deep sleep which causes most people to wake up groggy and feel “off” for the rest of the day. I was skeptical that this app could do what it claims, so I’ve been testing it out for the last 7 nights now…and I find the data I got pretty interesting.



This was the first night I used the app. It shows a fairly regular pattern of transitions from light sleep to deep sleep and back again. On this morning I woke feeling my normal amount of rested (which is not very rested). As you can see the alarm did go off at 9:26am, even though I had it set for 9:45am, that is because it determined that 9:26am was when I was sleeping light and would wake up easily. As you can also see that didn’t work out as planned, since I pushed snooze 5 times and didn’t get up until 9:47am…but that’s ok, I have learned after many years of waking up feeling awful that I need to plan a cushion of time into my mornings to allow for snoozing, or laying in bed waiting for pain pills to kick in before I get up, or taking longer than anticipated to get dressed due to pain, etc. I did not download the app for the alarm function, I downloaded it because I wanted to see what it said about how I am sleeping.












This was last night. You can see the much higher percentage of time spent in light sleep, as well as waking up twice during the night. I do not remember waking up, and can only assume that the app was detecting lots of excess movement and interpreting that as me being awake (although I could have woken up and just not remember it; my hubby says that I occasionally sit straight up in bed, open my eyes, look around, and then lay back down…I have NO memories of doing this lol. I used to have night terrors as a child, and have a theory that this sitting up in bed is a very minor, adult version). This morning I woke up feeling like I ran a marathon in my sleep, and I might have since all of my pillows and blankets were on the floor! This may also have contributed to the light sleeping and the feeling awful when I woke up, because it is an extremely cold morning here with the temperature when I woke up being 43 at 10am! My pain levels are through the roof, and I am writing this as I lay in bed and wait for my pain medication to kick in. I am exhausted and feel like I just need to go right back to sleep. 

So it appears that the app may in fact be doing an acceptable job of tracking my sleep…I will continue to collect data and compare it to how I feel in the mornings. 

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I think this was the first Christmas in many many years, perhaps ever, that I felt like I didn’t feel well enough to enjoy the holiday…but I can’t really put into words WHY I felt that way. Christmas eve hubby and I went to Christmas eve service at church, which I have to say is usually one of my favorite parts of the holiday. I love getting dressed nice, and experiencing the whole church filled with happy singing voices; I love the candlelit singing of Silent Night to end the service. I just love it. But this year I was uncomfortable in my clothes, with the fabric irritating my skin; I did not feel “pretty”, and I was in a significant amount of pain. After church we all went to dinner, where the food made my stomach sick and I was still in a bunch of pain. Christmas day I slept in a little, and spent the morning in bed reading which was nice since I was really hurting (are you seeing a trend here?), I did a little bit of cooking (another favorite part of the holiday) and headed off to my grandmother’s house. There we ate a delicious meal and everything was ok, but after that things just went downhill. I “crashed”, as I tend to call it…which essentially means that what little energy I had disappeared instantly, and my pain went through the roof. So I parked my butt on the couch until all gifts were opened, and then I retreated home to my bed where I proceeded to have insomnia and was up half the night. 

I guess I’m just not “feeling” the holidays this year. I was too sick to do much decorating or preparing, I got the bare minimum done as far as shopping for gifts is concerned, and I was just generally too exhausted and in too much pain to enjoy the whole season. 

It’s whatever I guess…

What does make me a little sad is that since I got engaged a year ago on New Year’s Eve, I wanted to go with hubby to the spot where he proposed and celebrate New Year’s watching the fireworks just like we did last year…but I know there is NO WAY I will feel up to that. :[


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