I don’t do this often, but tonight I am going to let myself.
I’m sick of feeling this way.
I’m sick of spending my evenings boiling coffee (see here for an explanation of that statement) and taking pills instead of out doing fun things like people my age should be.
I’m sick of spending more time in doctors offices than I do with my family (my ex husband used to hate that).
I’m sick of the pain. So much pain I don’t have words to describe it. The best I can do is brain numbing, gut wrenching, cant think about anything else, pain. It makes me want to cry, and throw up, and lay down right where i am and curl up in the fetal position and die. <—- I’m sick of that.
I’m sick of my body tic-ing uncontrollably, at the most inconvenient times.
I’m sick of worrying.
I’m sick of being scared to go on with my life; sick of doubting my abilities to do what I want to do.
I’m just sick, and tired; and sick and tired of it all.
I have sat down several times in the last couple of weeks to write this post, and somehow it just never gets written…I guess it’s a weird topic to write about!
As part of my lyme disease treatment I have recently started doing some things to help with detox…namely, coffee enemas. (I know, I know…)
I won’t go in to the details, you all know how google works, and I will put some links at the end of this post if you really want to know. Or you can always email me if you want an actual explanation of the nitty gritty details, or help with how to get started doing them yourself.
What I do want to tell you, however, is my experiences with doing them.
I started doing them because I knew I was killing (or hopefully killing!) lyme buggers, and needed a way to make sure they were getting out of me! (If the dead buggers and the neurotoxins they release don’t get out, they cause awful herx reactions, which are quite unpleasant to deal with, to say the least!) Other, perhaps more popular, methods of detoxing are epsom salt baths, dry saunas, etc. Well where I am staying at the moment I do not have access to those things. So that left me with the enemas, and since detoxing is so so SO important, I figured it was worth a try.
The first few times I started slow (less coffee then is recommended), and didn’t really feel any different afterwards. So I got frustrated and gave up for a couple of weeks. But I have a friend who swears by them, and she insisted that I needed to give it another try, so I did.
After doing one daily for a couple of weeks now, I feel comfortable saying that they DO help. The biggest thing for me is that I can literally be in a lot of pain, have a headache, and just be feeling really crappy, and after an enema I can go to bed without needing a pain killer or headache medication or anything. That is essentially life changing when you deal with the amount of pain I deal with on a daily basis. Now, it is not a miracle cure, this does not mean that I have NO pain…it just means that it lowers the levels from “OMFG kill me now!” to “I can handle it”.
I also have noticed that my “IBS” symptoms have been much much better lately. I am not sure if this is due to my recent diet changes, the guns blazing attack I have been waging on candida, or the enemas…or all of the above. But regardless, I’ll take it! Being able to eat a meal without running for the bathroom is a wonderful thing :].
I am pretty confident that the enemas are part of the reason that I have not had too many issues with herxing over the last 4 weeks. I have had a couple of doosies (yes, I said doosies, don’t mock me), but nothing nearly as extreme as I have heard of other people experiencing, or what I expected to experience. We shall see, however, if this continues to be the case when my doctor switches up my meds in a couple of weeks!
The downside is that the enemas are a huge energy suck. I do mine right before bed, because once I do it I have no choice but to go to bed and lay down. I have absolutely zero energy, often so little that I can barely stand or walk for more than a few seconds. I see this as a plus, however, it means my body is working hard on getting me well and getting rid of toxins and buggers!
So for now, all grossness aside, I guess I’ll keep doing them. I can’t argue with decreased pain, and at this point if it’ll help me feel better, I’ll try it!