Tag Archives: husband

NOT a mistake

“One of the most helpful things I heard during my divorce was that the fact that divorce is the right choice now doesn’t mean that getting married was the wrong choice then.”

This statement has been one of the most important I have ever read during this whole divorce process, and I find I have to keep reminding OTHER people of it’s truthfulness. I think it is especially a problem since I have been married for such a short time.

So friends, always keep that in mind, whether it be in reference to me or anyone else you may know who is going through divorce. The divorce process itself is difficult enough and carries enough of a stigma about it that such simple statements as “just chalk it up to a bad decision and walk away” or “we all make mistakes” can be devastating (I have been told both of those and more recently).

I do not regret for a second being with my husband, or marrying him…and you shouldn’t regret it FOR me either.

 

Quote from this article:

http://www.elephantjournal.com/2013/06/how-to-get-divorced-like-a-grown-up/

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Filed under Divorce, Uncategorized

A case of the Mondays and wishful thinking

So it’s only Monday and already my work week is crazed. I work as a nanny, and yesterday (after working 7 hours at my 2nd job) I got home, sat on the couch, and 5 minutes later my phone rings. It’s my boss saying that his wife hurt her knee and they are headed to the hospital and can I come watch the kids? “Well, I’m herxing and I’ve already worked 7 hours today, but how can I say no to that?” So I jump in the car, and then get a call saying nevermind, she doesn’t want to sit in the ER, they will see a doctor tomorrow (today). As far as today goes, needless to say, work is frustrating when you care for children whose parents are home…so this week just needs to be over already.

But what I’ve been thinking about this afternoon is how awesome my boss has been all day. He took the day off work, cleaned the house, chauffeured his wife to the doctors office, is bringing her ice packs in bed and driving all over town to find her some crutches. All this from a guy who is really a great guy, but ascribes to the “women’s work” attitude and tends to come home from work, pour a drink and sit on the couch while his wife comes home from work, cooks dinner, cleans house, cares for kids, and then repeats every single day.

I’m sure that his change in attitude is simply a reaction to how unusual these circumstances are, and will probably disappear in a few days, but it makes me think…I want a husband who will do those things.

I’ve been sick every single day of my relationship with my soon-to-be-ex-husband, and never has he exhibited the kind of take charge, “it’s all going to be ok” attitude my boss is oozing today. If he helped at all, I had to instruct him in exactly what I needed and how I needed it. Also, due to circumstances outside of his control, he could not drive a car, leaving me to drive MYSELF to the hospital/doctors office on more than one occasion when I really should NOT have been driving. He also lacks, for some reason, the maturity to pick up a phone and make a phone call, or be responsible for any sort of life detail (paying a bill, making an appointment, sorting out an issue with the insurance company, making a decision on which cable company to contract with, the list goes on and on), even though he is 10 years older than I am.

I am so not the kind of girl who sits around waiting for her knight in shining armor to ride up on his white horse and whisk me off into the sunset…but I don’t think it’s too much to wish for a husband who can just handle things sometimes. The kind of husband who will recognize that I am hurting more than usual, and take care of me once in a while, because he cares. The kind of husband who will be my partner in life, not just one more thing I need to handle. The kind of husband that I can rely on.

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Filed under Chronic Illness, Divorce, Uncategorized